Honest feedback is in short supply. Mostly because, anyone that likes you, including yourself, lies all the time. Nobody wants to hurt your feelings. And this lack of feedback is keeping you from being your best self.
To live more actualized and self-aware you will need to uncover some uncomfortable truths about yourself. To do this, you first need to know who you want to be and who you are. And then unfiltered feedback will give you actionable answers.
How to Get Decent Feedback:
The first and most challenging step is, to be honest with yourself. If you can’t do this, receiving feedback will do nothing. You will likely brush the feedback off as wrong; after all, you ‘think’ you know who you are.
To be honest with yourself, take inspiration from the first page of AA. Admit your lack of self-awareness. In fact, admit you are delusional– we all are. Knowing this truth is the first giant leap towards self-awareness.
After you have conquered this major obstacle, the work can begin. The next step is to observe who you are in this moment. This will not be easy. Without judgment, ask who you are. Not who you think you are or who you want to be, but who you are in this moment. You might not like the answers, and that’s good. This exercise is not intended to discover negative things about yourself. This as a quest for self-improvement and honesty.
Ask questions like: Is my life organized? Do I regularly give love? Am I fulfilled? Keep going until you’ve exhausted all the possibilities. Look at yourself with a stranger’s eyes. Write all your answers down.
After you’ve done this, ask what are my values, passions, and aspirations? Write these down. And finally compare and contrast who you want to be, with who you are. By comparing and contrasting you will gain actionable feedback. It is a simple but powerful exercise.
Take this a step further by setting aside a few minutes every day to perform the above compare and contrast between who you want to be and who you are. This should be a continuous practice, performed as often as you can. Schedule it on your calendar.
Self-awareness is salvation, and you can be your own truth-shaman.
Summary
- Most people are not very aware of who they are and who they want to be.
- The first step to becoming more self-aware is to admit the above.
- After the first step Self-awareness can be gained by creating and comparing a list of who you are in this moment vs. who you want to be.
- Make this comparison often.
Compliment this read with: Free Will? Book Summary: Free Will by Sam Harris